Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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