Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
