I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
