i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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