i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if only i could text you this smell
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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