Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
