What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
look no pants
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize