Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
