I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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