kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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