So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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