its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
