i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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