So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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