There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
