your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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