ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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