Its about making memories worth repressing
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
