worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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