I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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