fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
