we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize