Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize