You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
