sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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