Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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