I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
