ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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