And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
