My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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