you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
