mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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