dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize