the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize