She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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