I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
