fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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