Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
