It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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