We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
