it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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