Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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