I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
