On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I deserve this hangover.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
There's even glitter on my cock...
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