i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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