Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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