party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
