okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
