You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
