I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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