It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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