come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize