I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she peed on how many people?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
