I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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