there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
time to smoke my breakfast
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
