I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So here I am, sexting at work.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
