I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
