Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
