I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
