Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
