need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
