walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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