I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
