u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize