just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
