One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She bit a glass in half.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize