As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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