Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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