now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
