He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
